January
The Genesis of... something. I'm not sure yet...
01
January 1st
If I must start a new year
With more grey hairs
With more wrinkles I undoubtedly will find
With stretch marks lining my belly and thighs
I hope the new year keeps me alive
like you do
02
Frank Sinatra
Watching the record go round and round
Waiting for the first note
Holding my breath wondering
If I put the needle down correctly
It sings faithfully
Like every day
Over and over again
My day repeats
Melody
Words
Symphony
Chores
03
Snowy Day
If I can tick slower
to preserve this hug
I will swallow
the sun and
the moon
I will embrace the snow
until June
04
Happy Endings
Throw the flowers away
before they wilt
like all good things
they become
Unpleasant
05
Goodnight
To think if I got
exactly what I wanted
I would not be here
Looking out into
The city that never sleeps
Although I should sleep
06
iOS Update
Isn’t it exhausting
to keep reinventing yourself
because all the versions so far
are just not good enough
not that you’re not enough
but you deserve more
than what this version can give
07
Addict
Call me an addict but
That first sip of coffee
In the morning after
3 hours of sleep
Heavenly
Simple
Joy
08
Renee
At some point
The world has to chose
To be wrong and survive
Or to be right and die
One is the end of the world
Yet somehow
We’re so
Blind
09
The Joke's on You
How can we be fooled
so many times
by the masked fool
when the mask isn’t even that good?
Even if the mask slipped,
the fool is still the same
But will we be?
10
Sick
Oh to be a cat
Just laying around
Asleep the whole day
Tolerating a few pets that
lead to a full belly
Instead of worrying about
New
Year’s
resolutions
That I’m already behind on
It’s January 10th
11
I'm on a call
Zoom call glitching
with all the voices
trying to talk over each other
Can
You
Hear
Me?
What?
Like the sound of traffic in New York City
nothing will get done
if we are just honking aggressively
12
Another Day, Another Dollar
8:25AM
DEAD BODY.
Not figuratively dead.
For reals dead.
8:26AM
People walking past.
Sheet covers the passed.
EMTs circle him.
8:27AM
I feel nothing.
Maybe a little irritated
about the detour.
8:28AM
Everyone dies right?
Him, you, and me.
All of us.
8:29AM
I would probably walk past
my own dead body.
The clock ticks on.
8:30AM
Tick no time to Tock,
it’s time to work
until the clock stops.
13
Apple Genius Bar
Your phone breaks one day
for you to see how much time
there actually is.
----- The secret to slowing down aging
14
Sauvignon Blanc
The notes of the wine
Sway
with the notes of the song
While I twirl
in a dance with the train
Nights like this
with friends make you
Feel
less alone in a city of tall
isolating skyscrapers
Even if the map can’t find
You
I will find you through the
Songs
and Sway
15
Humanity
Gun down
People don’t want to be
Gunned down
Holding signs in the cold saying
Gun down
Survival is in our nature
It makes us human
So what is so important that
Needs to be said that
Needs to be heard that
People are willing to be
Gunned down
For
16
That's Pretty
That's Pretty
You can trace the front
And feel how carefully each thread
Embodied how much
Time
Effort
Concentration
Went into this small piece of fabric
The knots and curves
All intentional and necessary
And you say
“Wow, that's pretty”
Then you turn to the back
You see the sea of
loose threads
Cuts and ends all ending
Chaotically
SporaticallyIncorrectly
Is that what it takes to make those
Perfect knots and curves?
By knotting and curving?
And you say
"Oh"
17
Snow Flurries then Falls
The snow outside my window
flurries, masking the flaws of the
metropolitan trash and shame
creating a world meant for snow globes,
for a fantasy I once read about.
A princess who waited for a prince,
choosing to romanticize the pages that
trapped her in a tower,
her beautiful world sealed inside glass.
She allows herself to dream and
wonder if she will ever be as free as the snow
that flurries with no limits.
Until it chooses to fall,
married in holy matrimony to the ground
surrendering her beauty and freedom
to create a world worthy of being a
snow globe.
18
The old me would never
To think I would just
laugh off a mistake
A few words forgotten
in a song I practiced
Not an ounce of fear
of judgements
Not a second of heart
beat has risen
Not an eye was closed
to avoid
all the eyes
focused on me
I laughed it off
It happens
I move on
What a privilege it is to be
Older
Wiser
Funnier
19
Dream big they say
When they ask you why your dreams
are so ambitious,
why you crave success,
why your need to achieve can
swallow your soul whole?
You tell them when you dream for
Others
your dreams can't help it but be
Big.
Your soul can't help it but be
Overwhelmed
when it lives for
Others.
Even if you do say
"I"
have a dream...
20
Like the Train
Like the train
It will pass
Eventually
I hope
Delays or not
It’ll pass
Will it stop at this station
Only God knows
How long will it take
I really mean only God knows
Will this be express or local
Does it matter?
You’ll figure it out
You’ll eventually get there
Now stop bothering me!
It’s coming soon
Or not
What are you going to do about it?
21
Turns Out
Turns out
I still hate rejections
The “no” can still make me question
Something I know isn’t true
“Yes” I am enough
“No” not for you
But that’s a “yes” for me
Even if you “no” it isn’t true
22
Expectations
Expectations are for new years
not for train schedules
or relationships
Expect delays for all the above
Thank you for your patience
23
Echos
Echos can be loud
and deafening
to the point where you
can’t distinguish
the origin
until the words and notes
muddle into nonsense
anne yule know langur no
watts reel
24
Just a thought
Freezing
Cusing
At the cold of the
City that melted my
Freezing
Fucking
Heart
25
Nostalgic
I tried my best to make
every memory the best
for you
all the shiny beautiful things
to make up for the childhood
I didn’t have
and it still wasn’t enough
somehow I was still the villain
of a story I had no control over
26
Birds and Snow
Birds and Snow
Why do birds still fly in a snow storm?
Didn't they get the email about
snow day?
There's no need to come in
if the roads are icy
and the trains aren't running.
27
In my solitude
When solitude
becomes a safe haven
instead of a prison cell
you want to escape
Andthe world becomes
louder
than the chaotic thoughts.
You’ll be the lighthouse
for the sea
and the waves
that carry peace.
28
Somewhere only we know
Can you start again
at the place where
everything
ended?
Wouldn’t it be easier
to pack up and
go?
So why don’t we go?
29
January 31st,
Just follow a routine they say
Just do it
Just write a poem a day
It can't be that hard
to follow a schedule
Just one a day
While I'm writing this on January 31st
30
Shower Thoughts
I write and write
the first second fifth draft
until my brain can no longer
give
inspire
create
then that's when the best work
develops
appears
in a dream
or in a shower
31
Advice for a young girl
If I can talk to my younger self
I would tell her about my
worst day that month
She would laugh at how
beautiful my life sounds
even when I'm at my "lowest"
"Oh, how far you've come,"
she'll say
"Oh, how far you'll go,"
I'll say